Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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