I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
