ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
