I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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