I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
