so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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