hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my phone needs a breathalizer
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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