Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
