my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You made out with two different species that night
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
