My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
