Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
sex in a hospital.. check
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
