I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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