He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
