K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize