Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
