she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
