If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
