We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He? As in you personified your dick?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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