so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
