He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
