waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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