watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
