Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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