sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
