Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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