now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
