Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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