Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
