i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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