i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
