you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
