it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
