Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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