to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize