she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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