They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
