I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize