the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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