I hate all girls vehemently.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
