youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
