Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
