I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
