I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
