he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
