it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
