I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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