I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
