sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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