ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
