You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
