don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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