You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
