I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
