Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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