if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
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