Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize